Lessons

Yesterday was hard.  I've been learning that even if your intentions are in the right place people will still take you the way they want to take you.  You can say everything in the right way and it can be completely wrong.  It's disheartening to know that you can try so hard to communicate and fail miserably.
That's how a felt all yesterday.  Now I can look back and see that there is no such thing as a correct way to say something.  That when we give advice it is only because we care, but that if someone doesn't take it the way you intended to give it, then the fault is on both parties.
After yesterday I have learned two things.  One, only voice your opinion when asked.  Otherwise it won't be valued or warranted, even if you preemptively ask for permission to critique.  And two, if your having a hard time fitting into a new circle of friends or colleagues, then perhaps you shouldn't try so hard to squeeze in, and allow them to come into your circle when they are ready.
Right now I feel saddened that I can't connect with my new community in a stronger way.  I also know that this is a phase, and that I need to be forbearing while my new community figures out what I'm all about.  Lastly, I care, and I will continue to care.  The circumstances of my life were only in my wildest dreams until a few months ago, and I'm not going to give up.  I will survive, and I will thrive.
I'm here!

Isolation, Written July 2011

I spent, well spend so much time isolating myself.  I realized today that I have always needed to be overly competitive because I needed to find out who I was as an individual.  The problem is that it evolved into me isolating myself from the rest of my life.  I love my work, and it has become my life, it has quite possibly consumed me.  in the next few months I am going to no longer isolate, and instead I am going to incorporate.  Instead of finding out who I am I now more interested in where I come from and how I am connected to it.  My family, my friends, my home.  My work might not be about who I am, but instead where I come from. It might be about how I'm connected to the world, and who connects to me?

Well it's been far too Long

Well there is so much going on in the Life of Magic these days.  I've been training really hard and working on some fun stuff that should come to a cross roads in October.  Tomorrow I leave for CO.  I don't know what to think about that yet.  My Friends in Copenhagen are doing well.  I wish I  could have gone to them this year, but it just wasn't in the cards.
The street season has been very different this year.  I haven't had as big of shows, and the work is very experimental.  In some ways it's the best year I've had, while in others I need restraint.  I have started working with a group of performers, we call ourselves the 5 of us.  They are amazing creatures, and perhaps that is accomplishment enough.

BIG GAP

Well,
it's been a while since I last Blogged.  I suppose I was busy trying to make sure I had something to blog about!  Right now I'm in Hamburg DE, and I'm one of the newest members of Pilobolus's Shadowland.  We are going to be touring for the next 7 months all over Germany and then some.  So far it's been great.  The work is incredibly challenging in ways I never it imagined it could be.  The company itself is a group of very special people.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  It should be exciting here we go.