Being in it

Today I realized I probably didn't get into a company I recently auditioned for.  Most of the time in the show biz world you just don't make it.  You practice falling and getting up again, but some times you actually land it.  I really felt like I landed this one, but I haven't heard anything from them.  The audition itself went so nicely, and everything felt right.  I felt right for the movement, and it inspired me to move.  It feels a bit like getting 4th place.  You are so close, you can taste it, but you still didn't make the podium.  I just have to get up and brush it off.  Or, maybe I'll send a letter.  Maybe I just need to pursue it a little longer.  I'll give it a week and then if I still don't here from them I may have too...

Isolation

 Of late I've realized that I have isolated myself from everything since I was very young.  It has been the core of my work and quite possibly my life.  I am now seeing that it was a great lesson in finding the edges of my existence, but that it is only the outer edges of that existence.  My life is my family and my work should mirror that connection.  My work should be about connection, and not isolation.  I want to know that I am evolving into my life as a dynamic part of a whole, and not the whole itself.  I am looking forward to being with those people again.  The art to my life... To guide myself away from home, so that one day I may find my way back again.