The months have passed since my last transmission. It was apparent that I needed some hibernation from expression. Now I'm back, in west coast style. I can't remember the last post I made but I know that it was from my New York City lifestyle. Since then I've moved out west, back to tinsel town and I'm really excited to be here. After arriving two months ago I've just been keeping my head down. Pushing for work as hard as possible. I've solidified an agent with Bloc Talent Group and I'm ecstatic to be on board with them. But enough filler, I'm writing today because it marks my first big Los Angeles audition.
I must say it felt very good. I really jive with the jazz funk, commercial flavor that Los Angeles provides. I know that I'll be doing very well in the months and years to come. As for today I have my frustrations. I feel like I had the movement, in fact it felt really good. Even still I was cut in the very first group. There is nothing worse that the feeling you get by getting cut first. Well I suppose getting cut last is worse but getting cut first is a very close second. One would think that as we mature, our ability to take rejection would also mature. I must say to a large extent I think it's quite the opposite.
For working dancers the more you know the harder the fall feels. I think as a youngster we get this idea that once we get a certain amount of work under our belts we are going to be okay. The truth of the matter is being a dancer is like being a samurai. Every day of your life is a battle. And each day starts at zero. No matter if you are the youngest guy in the room or the most celebrated technician in the world.
At the end of the day you have to show up hotter than the sun and know that the odds are never in you favor. You will most likely get cut and most of your meals will come from dance studios and gymnastics gyms. Your gonna wake up soar, ripped to pieces. Your going to feel worthless from time to time. And time will always slip through you fingers. It's hard, there is no two ways around it.
But like I said, that's at the end of the day.
At the beginning of the day, your going to wake up feeling like you can do anything. Like your a super hero in training. You will walk through life with confidence and people will admire you. You'll meet amazing friends. Exceptional lovers and lifelong family. You'll pick up the pieces for others, and they will do the same for you. You will be a part of something bigger, and though you may not get picked for project after project you will be provided for. Your currency will be in blood, sweat and tears. You'll understand your body better than anyone, and you will become your own healer. In time you'll learn to see that you never get rejected. that each audition is for a different expression of yourself and that you always play an integral role in the process of the dance.
