A few days ago was the fourth of July. I didn't miss it, not even a little. Recently I took my two angels and my beautiful wife back to Colorado for the first time. My Mrs. and I were married there but my two kids of Three and one and half had never been to the mountains. It was hard, and rewarding. We spent time all over the State, and saw all the old family. Now that I'm home in Scotland though I'm happy I don't live there anymore. American's are incredible people and I'm proud to call myself one, but we are not looking after one another. We are not looking after our future generations and we are not looking after the environment. Despite some of the more special places I went the lack of overall intelligence was also sub par. I don't mean we Americans are stupid in the sense that we can not comprehend logical thinking. What I mean is that we are stupid to not see how one part of ourselves is eating the other part. It's like everywhere we went it was still about having the biggest car, and the richest things. Even the food is rich. Heavy salt, lots of butter. It's just a lot, and everyone is vying to get to the top of the ant hill. Scotland isn't like that. In some ways it thinks it wants to be like America, but in the end it really doesn't.
This year is flying by. We have some amazing experiences ahead of us, but it will also come with hard work.
The last few years have been the hardest working years of my life, but not in a good way. It was just a grind. Everything I was doing was just something I had to do. I had to really dig down inside of myself to find passion. I wouldn't exchange the experience for anything now that it's over. I will say I was hoping this year might be the one I step back onto the big stage. I've grown as an artist. I've found consistent paying work for my magic. I'm teaching dance regularly. I have wonderful acting representation, and I'm painting a lot. The painting in particular seems to be really happening. My hopes have always been on acting more, but my means to pursue acting more are hard come by. Painting has been a wonderful outlet for my creativity and the past few years were filled with nothing but time and frustrating time. Beautiful time too. Just life changing. Here's one great thing about becoming a new parent that they never tell you. It is a great time to take up something new. There are lots of times when as a new parent you just have to be present. Your days are filled with busy work and or very tedious work. If you've ever wanted to start painting or learning an instrument, being a new parent is a great time to do it. This may seem completely backwards, but really it's not. The one thing as a new parent you'll never have is a completely free moment to yourself. The rare occasion that you do find yourself with yourself alone... You're going to feel strange. You'll almost feel guilty that you can put all of your attention into whatever it is you'll find yourself doing, and these moments will always come when you least expect them. What you will have is lots of down time, when you're holding a baby in one arm and a TV remote or book or laptop or coffee or..... Yeah everything, in the other. This was my new reality three years ago, and if I wasn't working then I was with the kid. This soon turned into kids. For my wife it was the same way, and for the rest of the family it was the same way. Kids really do take a village to raise. Anyway long story short, you're going to find a ton of idle time to read about the various requirements to be a painter, or a musician, or physicist. Youtube should create a free university program. I've learned so much from so many great artists through the net, and namely Youtube. Wow maybe Youtube will give me a job advertising how amazing they are?!
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Friday, February 16, 2018
How Art defeats the Flat Earth theory
In today's day and age, it is somewhat shocking to me that people think the way they do. With all the technology and science that is now possible one would think the average person is smarter for it, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Instead, we seem to live in a world where our technology and science is used against us. This point of view is predominantly from an American and British standpoint. It seems to me that it is also something driven by big business. They want you to be competent but not truly intelligent. The ideal citizen should have the paper to prove they are able, but not actually the ability. And with this proof comes great debt, that for most will never be eliminated. A debt that will be chipped away by a lifetime of work. Work that is made simplified so that power is completely taken away from the blue collar worker. Simplified so that anyone can be replaced. It is curious that with all the new innovation and information people do not accept proof of ability more. The combination of technology and information allows for so much more self-teaching. Instead, we gage people on SAT's and ACT's and other antiquated tests, which can be bought and paid for.
We often test our youth with multiple choice rather than question/ answer as is done in Finland, the leading education system in the world. We drive our children away from school with hours of homework, instead of giving them time to experience the natural curiosities of life. And what's more, we are taking more and more time away from arts & physical education classes. Classes like shop and home economics are not even available. Why aren't we teaching our kids how to build things, fix things, and do their taxes? Even more, our science and lit classes are boring and completely lecture-based. Science is amazing and truly goes hand in hand with art. Some of the greatest artists of all time understood human anatomy, and the natural world better than anyone. All of these shortcomings inevitably lead to a state of mistrust. People are inherently smart, and if you prove to them that you're not acting in their best interest, to be good, strong, smart people then they are going to shut down. I think that is why we see more and more people accepting ignorance as bliss, and not questioning our leaders the way they should. Not holding them responsible, and not believing obvious facts. It's not that they wouldn't if they could, it's simply that they don't because they don't know how.
So, what happens is people give in to idiocracy and its many forms. They give in because they feel accepted, and suddenly they feel like they're being respected for who they are. Respected for their intelligence, and then they start to defend even the most obvious lies.
There are people who believe the earth is flat! They believe we've never been to the moon and that every photograph taken from space is a big conspiracy created by NASA to control the way we think. They believe that at the edge of the earth, which is flat, there is an enormous ice wall. As crazy as that seems to me, I understand how many people in today's age could believe in such an idea! They believe it because we have failed them. They don't understand the science, and they certainly haven't seen it for themselves, so when it's put simply they come to a conclusion that the world is indeed flat. Well, I'm not a scientist, and I am not about to go into the complexities or even the simple science that prove how the earth is round. I am however an avid artist. I love to draw and through this passion, I can prove that indeed the earth is round. I can prove this simply through my power of observation. A power that is shared by both art and science!
Here's what you'll need if you want proof. You'll need a single light source, so a lamp or a painting light or even a flashlight. Then you'll need a dark room where only light can be seen from that light source. You then need a flat object like a plait or a cooking tray. Lastly, you'll need a ball or anything spherical or globular. After all, oceanographers have actually shown the world is not a perfect sphere. Now set up the light so that it is shining across the room. You can do this any way you want it doesn't matter how you set up the light. Now with the light source turned on hold up the flat object so that it is perfectly facing the light. You will notice that the light shines across the entirety of the flat surface on one side while casting a shadow on the entirety of its backside. Good so far? Right, now tilt the plate slowly until only the edge of the surface it facing the light source. Watching closely you'll see that the light still hits the entire surface of the plait no matter what angle you hold the plait to the light. As the plait's edge starts to line up more with the light the backside now also becomes light up with light. Great, so we've observed that no matter the angle we hold a flat surface, the light will shine across the entirety. This means that there are only two options, on and off. Now let's think about the flat earth. The ideas are simply that all the continents are found on the same side! This means that if the earth was flat then everywhere in the world would be dark at the same time! That's strike one. Ok now let's put down the plait and pick up the ball. If you hold the ball up to the light you'll notice a gradual change from the light side of the ball to the dark side. In fact, one has more merit believing the earth is shaped like a fist rather than a flat surface! So how do we know that it's not a fist, well let's take the experiment outside? Let's look at the moon. We know it's not flat because it goes through many phases before it vanishes. There is a full moon, a waning moon, wax moon, crescent moon, and new moon. These phases are all just descriptions of the angle of light hitting the moon from our perspective. The moon is not the shape of a fist, so I think eath is most likely that of a similar shape. I would tell you to look through a telescope to see the shapes of other planets too, but that would bring science into the conversation so scratch that! So let's go back to the darkroom. If you set the ball down on a chair and keep it in the light you can then walk around the ball. You are acting as the earth's perspective. From the side of the light source, the ball will be completely lit up. From another side, it will be 50/50. A little more around and you'll see just a sliver. Finally, if you stand the ball between you and the light source you will only see the dark side or no moon! Okay, last part. Pick up your phone, and call someone you trust that lives in a different time zone. If you live in CA, try and call someone that lives in NY or even further. You'll find that if you call them at the right time it will be dark in one place and light in the other. So there you have it the earth is the shape of a fist:D
We often test our youth with multiple choice rather than question/ answer as is done in Finland, the leading education system in the world. We drive our children away from school with hours of homework, instead of giving them time to experience the natural curiosities of life. And what's more, we are taking more and more time away from arts & physical education classes. Classes like shop and home economics are not even available. Why aren't we teaching our kids how to build things, fix things, and do their taxes? Even more, our science and lit classes are boring and completely lecture-based. Science is amazing and truly goes hand in hand with art. Some of the greatest artists of all time understood human anatomy, and the natural world better than anyone. All of these shortcomings inevitably lead to a state of mistrust. People are inherently smart, and if you prove to them that you're not acting in their best interest, to be good, strong, smart people then they are going to shut down. I think that is why we see more and more people accepting ignorance as bliss, and not questioning our leaders the way they should. Not holding them responsible, and not believing obvious facts. It's not that they wouldn't if they could, it's simply that they don't because they don't know how.
So, what happens is people give in to idiocracy and its many forms. They give in because they feel accepted, and suddenly they feel like they're being respected for who they are. Respected for their intelligence, and then they start to defend even the most obvious lies.
There are people who believe the earth is flat! They believe we've never been to the moon and that every photograph taken from space is a big conspiracy created by NASA to control the way we think. They believe that at the edge of the earth, which is flat, there is an enormous ice wall. As crazy as that seems to me, I understand how many people in today's age could believe in such an idea! They believe it because we have failed them. They don't understand the science, and they certainly haven't seen it for themselves, so when it's put simply they come to a conclusion that the world is indeed flat. Well, I'm not a scientist, and I am not about to go into the complexities or even the simple science that prove how the earth is round. I am however an avid artist. I love to draw and through this passion, I can prove that indeed the earth is round. I can prove this simply through my power of observation. A power that is shared by both art and science!
Here's what you'll need if you want proof. You'll need a single light source, so a lamp or a painting light or even a flashlight. Then you'll need a dark room where only light can be seen from that light source. You then need a flat object like a plait or a cooking tray. Lastly, you'll need a ball or anything spherical or globular. After all, oceanographers have actually shown the world is not a perfect sphere. Now set up the light so that it is shining across the room. You can do this any way you want it doesn't matter how you set up the light. Now with the light source turned on hold up the flat object so that it is perfectly facing the light. You will notice that the light shines across the entirety of the flat surface on one side while casting a shadow on the entirety of its backside. Good so far? Right, now tilt the plate slowly until only the edge of the surface it facing the light source. Watching closely you'll see that the light still hits the entire surface of the plait no matter what angle you hold the plait to the light. As the plait's edge starts to line up more with the light the backside now also becomes light up with light. Great, so we've observed that no matter the angle we hold a flat surface, the light will shine across the entirety. This means that there are only two options, on and off. Now let's think about the flat earth. The ideas are simply that all the continents are found on the same side! This means that if the earth was flat then everywhere in the world would be dark at the same time! That's strike one. Ok now let's put down the plait and pick up the ball. If you hold the ball up to the light you'll notice a gradual change from the light side of the ball to the dark side. In fact, one has more merit believing the earth is shaped like a fist rather than a flat surface! So how do we know that it's not a fist, well let's take the experiment outside? Let's look at the moon. We know it's not flat because it goes through many phases before it vanishes. There is a full moon, a waning moon, wax moon, crescent moon, and new moon. These phases are all just descriptions of the angle of light hitting the moon from our perspective. The moon is not the shape of a fist, so I think eath is most likely that of a similar shape. I would tell you to look through a telescope to see the shapes of other planets too, but that would bring science into the conversation so scratch that! So let's go back to the darkroom. If you set the ball down on a chair and keep it in the light you can then walk around the ball. You are acting as the earth's perspective. From the side of the light source, the ball will be completely lit up. From another side, it will be 50/50. A little more around and you'll see just a sliver. Finally, if you stand the ball between you and the light source you will only see the dark side or no moon! Okay, last part. Pick up your phone, and call someone you trust that lives in a different time zone. If you live in CA, try and call someone that lives in NY or even further. You'll find that if you call them at the right time it will be dark in one place and light in the other. So there you have it the earth is the shape of a fist:D
Thursday, February 9, 2017
February 2017
So much has changed, and yet nothing has. I am still the same old magical self, and yet I am now also described as Father, Husband, Immigrant, and muralist. Oh and home owner! Though the last one isn't entirely true as it isn't really my home, but it's close enough. On that same note, there is yet another new thing I can call myself, actually two things!! I am now a carpenter and a sculptor. The home technically belongs to my sister in law, however we are paying the bills to stay there and maintain the place. It is, however, the very first place I've ever torn apart and rebuilt from the inside out. The experience has given me a number of life lessons, the most important being a large dose of patience. It has also shown me how houses are built and though I do not wish to go into the trades and build people's homes for a living I am happy to know how things are done. It makes me feel more, adult and confident in the area of owning my own home. One thing that I am fond of that is related to the subject is furniture building. I absolutely love building furniture, and thanks to the new house I have been able to build a number of pieces for the house. I am planning on building a few more as we get into the house. One thing I need to do first to make those projects realized is to build a small workshop in the back yard. I have already gone to the trouble of designing the space, so now it is just a matter of collecting all the material necessary. In the mid-term, I'll need to pick up some kind of job, and I'm thinking the best type would be something part-time, where I can labor three days a week and pull in around 300 pounds.
Okay so this post has become something of a cryptic therapy session, so let me change gears a bit. As we reach our goal of getting into the house I am excited to get into my art again. I really want to pursue more painting, with the aspiration of becoming a professional. I would love to have my work up in galleries and create large scale murals. My first concept for a series would be to create something around 40 pieces. All the pieces would be made up of various mediums. 5 or 6 of them would be furniture pieces that could be placed in the gallery to sit on or take the space in some way. Another 10 would be large spray paint pieces. These would be in the size range of 10ft by 15 ft. That's not exact of course and I'm yet to find how I will build the base for these pieces, but that would be the idea. After that, another 10 pieces would be mid-size pieces, around 4ft by 5 ft. I think these will be done on canvas, and I'll most likely be using water based acrylic paints. These pieces may also be done with charcoal pastels and in that case, they would be done on thicker stock paper. Finally, I'll have 10 more pieces that are small, in the range of A1 size paper or A2. These pieces will be pencil sketches and watercolors. Feeewwww, that's a lot. I am also going to continue the pursuit of magic and acting and dancing. It's a full dose of the arts in my life, and it can be very overwhelming. All the same, they all blend together and encourage one another. All the ways they might overlap in the future leads to exciting prospects in my imagination. On a daily basis they will mostly be pursued individually, however as each thing progesses, I certainly want to bring them into one venture of my expression. My wife is calling it Designs by Distefano. I must say that has a nice ring to it.
Okay so this post has become something of a cryptic therapy session, so let me change gears a bit. As we reach our goal of getting into the house I am excited to get into my art again. I really want to pursue more painting, with the aspiration of becoming a professional. I would love to have my work up in galleries and create large scale murals. My first concept for a series would be to create something around 40 pieces. All the pieces would be made up of various mediums. 5 or 6 of them would be furniture pieces that could be placed in the gallery to sit on or take the space in some way. Another 10 would be large spray paint pieces. These would be in the size range of 10ft by 15 ft. That's not exact of course and I'm yet to find how I will build the base for these pieces, but that would be the idea. After that, another 10 pieces would be mid-size pieces, around 4ft by 5 ft. I think these will be done on canvas, and I'll most likely be using water based acrylic paints. These pieces may also be done with charcoal pastels and in that case, they would be done on thicker stock paper. Finally, I'll have 10 more pieces that are small, in the range of A1 size paper or A2. These pieces will be pencil sketches and watercolors. Feeewwww, that's a lot. I am also going to continue the pursuit of magic and acting and dancing. It's a full dose of the arts in my life, and it can be very overwhelming. All the same, they all blend together and encourage one another. All the ways they might overlap in the future leads to exciting prospects in my imagination. On a daily basis they will mostly be pursued individually, however as each thing progesses, I certainly want to bring them into one venture of my expression. My wife is calling it Designs by Distefano. I must say that has a nice ring to it.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
magical fate
I have found my magical self again. Since my last post I was moved, married and recreated. For a long time I believed that I would never be a magician again, but that is definitely not the case. This summer I came back to Telluride with my bride to be and out of necessity I took up my magic again.
At first it was an annoying means to supplement our already deplorable income, but not soon after getting in front of people again did I realize just how much I love magic and just how much I've been trying to fill that void since I stopped years ago. Now three months into my performing again I am a better magician than I have ever been before.
Something else unexpected happened along the way too, I found the passion to start reading. I never did like reading, on account of my dyslexia, but when suddenly I know that I can become what I once thought I would, means reading endless magic books, I buckled. I'm happy I did too. Reading is probably, historically the hardest thing I've had to learn but with the help of reading specs and some patience I have become quite good at it. This may sound depressing, or like a story from the 1930's but seriously my mind just didn't take well to reading. In fact I think I've only every finished a handful of books in my life, and I say handful just to not sound depressing.
I was always so athletic and visual, drawling and even writing were my strong suits, but reading was my arch enemy. Especially since school always demanded so much of it that I wasn't ever able to keep up in class. This simple truth made me into an unbelievable bull-shitter. I figured out by high school how to tell the teacher exactly what they wanted to hear minus any actual information about the things we read. In magical terms this known as cold reading.
At this point in the summer both myself and my beautiful wife have rejuvenated ourselves and are planning on hitting the road back to Los Angeles for as early as November! My personal goal is to have a close up show ready for performing and a series of manipulation acts too boot. As I build this new act I am finding that I need to refine the work, by gaining theme's, strong plots, and eliminating the Chaos so to often seen in my contemporaries. This process is like shooting for Mozart when your used to playing chopsticks!
Friday, February 27, 2015
Scrapping for ashes
Defeat feels like concrete. In three days time I'm due to pay a series of bills that are suppose to make my life better. I keep taking classes that are suppose to enlighten me, temper me or enable me. The outcome has been much more like defeat, boredom and false dogma. My truths seem only to come from within experiences I grasp on walks back from the grocery store, or that time I decided to do handstands on the concrete wall outside the bank.
A number of days ago I lost family. Elijah I love you. Since then the world has fallen into some kind of darkness and the illuminated Hollywood dream has become nothing more than a lit up hotel sign near a raging highway.
I am dancer? I don't know anymore. It feels like such a blur since last fall I can't seem to find footing in anything out here. The only thing holding me together has been the love of my life. She is extraordinary and has saved me over and over again. From the look of things I know I'm not suppose to complain. After all there are people in far worse shape then I, and for that I am grateful for my high class problems.
Still there's something really troubling about the state of things. I went out to get a part time job yesterday. Just bussing tables or doing something labor intensive. Each time I walked into a place I was met with diversion. Everything here seems to be a part of a chain and with it an online application. What ever happened to meeting the owner, shaking hands and finding new found faith in someone. I can't help but notice the amount of homeless people there are. What's more is they seem to be making more money then I do.
Today I went and took class with Diavolo. They are a contemporary dance company based in Los Angeles, and they specialize in exploring movement on various architectural structures. It was nice being in their space, and for a moment I thought it could be a place I could work, but the faint vision of a future after another stint with a company makes me shutter. Even still I would honor the work, but my senses tell me I'm not what they are looking for.
It's alright, I am starting to accept the idea of laying down roots for real. The highlight of my day today was planting mint at the back of my building. I had acquired a basil plant along with it from the grocery store a few weeks back, but white flies seem to be destroying them both. The basil is gone but mr. mint has a chance. I took it to the back and placed it in the dirt. It may die yet but the idea of setting it free made me feel good, and the action of planing things in the earth is as amazing a feeling as running through the woods.
I think I'll do that more.
A number of days ago I lost family. Elijah I love you. Since then the world has fallen into some kind of darkness and the illuminated Hollywood dream has become nothing more than a lit up hotel sign near a raging highway.
I am dancer? I don't know anymore. It feels like such a blur since last fall I can't seem to find footing in anything out here. The only thing holding me together has been the love of my life. She is extraordinary and has saved me over and over again. From the look of things I know I'm not suppose to complain. After all there are people in far worse shape then I, and for that I am grateful for my high class problems.
Still there's something really troubling about the state of things. I went out to get a part time job yesterday. Just bussing tables or doing something labor intensive. Each time I walked into a place I was met with diversion. Everything here seems to be a part of a chain and with it an online application. What ever happened to meeting the owner, shaking hands and finding new found faith in someone. I can't help but notice the amount of homeless people there are. What's more is they seem to be making more money then I do.
Today I went and took class with Diavolo. They are a contemporary dance company based in Los Angeles, and they specialize in exploring movement on various architectural structures. It was nice being in their space, and for a moment I thought it could be a place I could work, but the faint vision of a future after another stint with a company makes me shutter. Even still I would honor the work, but my senses tell me I'm not what they are looking for.
It's alright, I am starting to accept the idea of laying down roots for real. The highlight of my day today was planting mint at the back of my building. I had acquired a basil plant along with it from the grocery store a few weeks back, but white flies seem to be destroying them both. The basil is gone but mr. mint has a chance. I took it to the back and placed it in the dirt. It may die yet but the idea of setting it free made me feel good, and the action of planing things in the earth is as amazing a feeling as running through the woods.
I think I'll do that more.
Saturday, November 8, 2014
West Coast style
The months have passed since my last transmission. It was apparent that I needed some hibernation from expression. Now I'm back, in west coast style. I can't remember the last post I made but I know that it was from my New York City lifestyle. Since then I've moved out west, back to tinsel town and I'm really excited to be here. After arriving two months ago I've just been keeping my head down. Pushing for work as hard as possible. I've solidified an agent with Bloc Talent Group and I'm ecstatic to be on board with them. But enough filler, I'm writing today because it marks my first big Los Angeles audition.
I must say it felt very good. I really jive with the jazz funk, commercial flavor that Los Angeles provides. I know that I'll be doing very well in the months and years to come. As for today I have my frustrations. I feel like I had the movement, in fact it felt really good. Even still I was cut in the very first group. There is nothing worse that the feeling you get by getting cut first. Well I suppose getting cut last is worse but getting cut first is a very close second. One would think that as we mature, our ability to take rejection would also mature. I must say to a large extent I think it's quite the opposite.
For working dancers the more you know the harder the fall feels. I think as a youngster we get this idea that once we get a certain amount of work under our belts we are going to be okay. The truth of the matter is being a dancer is like being a samurai. Every day of your life is a battle. And each day starts at zero. No matter if you are the youngest guy in the room or the most celebrated technician in the world.
At the end of the day you have to show up hotter than the sun and know that the odds are never in you favor. You will most likely get cut and most of your meals will come from dance studios and gymnastics gyms. Your gonna wake up soar, ripped to pieces. Your going to feel worthless from time to time. And time will always slip through you fingers. It's hard, there is no two ways around it.
But like I said, that's at the end of the day.
At the beginning of the day, your going to wake up feeling like you can do anything. Like your a super hero in training. You will walk through life with confidence and people will admire you. You'll meet amazing friends. Exceptional lovers and lifelong family. You'll pick up the pieces for others, and they will do the same for you. You will be a part of something bigger, and though you may not get picked for project after project you will be provided for. Your currency will be in blood, sweat and tears. You'll understand your body better than anyone, and you will become your own healer. In time you'll learn to see that you never get rejected. that each audition is for a different expression of yourself and that you always play an integral role in the process of the dance.
I must say it felt very good. I really jive with the jazz funk, commercial flavor that Los Angeles provides. I know that I'll be doing very well in the months and years to come. As for today I have my frustrations. I feel like I had the movement, in fact it felt really good. Even still I was cut in the very first group. There is nothing worse that the feeling you get by getting cut first. Well I suppose getting cut last is worse but getting cut first is a very close second. One would think that as we mature, our ability to take rejection would also mature. I must say to a large extent I think it's quite the opposite.
For working dancers the more you know the harder the fall feels. I think as a youngster we get this idea that once we get a certain amount of work under our belts we are going to be okay. The truth of the matter is being a dancer is like being a samurai. Every day of your life is a battle. And each day starts at zero. No matter if you are the youngest guy in the room or the most celebrated technician in the world.
At the end of the day you have to show up hotter than the sun and know that the odds are never in you favor. You will most likely get cut and most of your meals will come from dance studios and gymnastics gyms. Your gonna wake up soar, ripped to pieces. Your going to feel worthless from time to time. And time will always slip through you fingers. It's hard, there is no two ways around it.
But like I said, that's at the end of the day.
At the beginning of the day, your going to wake up feeling like you can do anything. Like your a super hero in training. You will walk through life with confidence and people will admire you. You'll meet amazing friends. Exceptional lovers and lifelong family. You'll pick up the pieces for others, and they will do the same for you. You will be a part of something bigger, and though you may not get picked for project after project you will be provided for. Your currency will be in blood, sweat and tears. You'll understand your body better than anyone, and you will become your own healer. In time you'll learn to see that you never get rejected. that each audition is for a different expression of yourself and that you always play an integral role in the process of the dance.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
ONE
Tomorrow I am going to start in on my new dance film project. I am very excited and overwhelmed. Since making Andromeda last year I have come to find a much more efficient way of making dance films. The truth is I love all the big equipment and the technology that is out there, but for dance it's too much. Too much in that dance speaks to a current state of being and though it can become more rich with time, it generally doesn't. I can't tell you how much dance I see from years past that is just tired. That being said My Andromeda is going to be amazing when it's completed. I think we got lucking when we made that piece. The team of people involved were all heart and it really shows in the work thus far. Okay bed time.
Thoughts for the day...
Some days you do something special and you see the reasons for being, while most days are just building blocks. Admire the building blocks more than the zenith days. There are more of them and the more enjoyment you can find in the work the more zenith you'll find in each day:)
love
Magic
Thoughts for the day...
Some days you do something special and you see the reasons for being, while most days are just building blocks. Admire the building blocks more than the zenith days. There are more of them and the more enjoyment you can find in the work the more zenith you'll find in each day:)
love
Magic
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
FIRE
There was a fire down the street from my house today. I didn't know that it was happening until my roommate returned home and told me that there was smoke billowing from a warehouse that sits down the block. No one was hurt, but it was no joke, and it definitely makes me think about paying closer attention to the now.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Hideous day
Today was something hideous and beautiful at the same time. I woke up for class this morning to find my body mind and spirit in chaos. When I looked outside the sky was full of gloom and I could not get out of bed. I just watched the seconds turn to minutes on my phone. All the time to get my things together, slipping away. Before class there is about 45 minutes to one hour needed to put the body in a place so it's ready to move. During this time I stretch and roll around in various ways so the body is ready to gain strength rather than maintain it. Today that was impossible. Even my walk to the train seemed to happen in slow motion. To far to go, to little time. I gave up on morning class for the day, finding a coffee shop to rest my worries. As the day progressed students canceled on me and fearful thoughts filled my mind. It was a hideous day.
Then through the troubles on an aimless walk I found my stride. I guess I just forgot it on the pavement at some point the day before. A great evening followed, and a late night walk through a Brooklyn of my own. I now lay my head to find dreams worth tomorrow's grief.
Good night world, may your dreams come true so that even on your most hideous days you can find a beautiful peace by day's end.
Then through the troubles on an aimless walk I found my stride. I guess I just forgot it on the pavement at some point the day before. A great evening followed, and a late night walk through a Brooklyn of my own. I now lay my head to find dreams worth tomorrow's grief.
Good night world, may your dreams come true so that even on your most hideous days you can find a beautiful peace by day's end.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Rain in
Today I moved as I do most days. This week marks the beginnings of a new training schedule with my coach Pacho. He's a wise acrobat and I'm really excited to work with him. He has me working the grind stone right now. I'm doing hundreds of handstand and acrobatic excises daily. I know in a few months time I'll be a serious beast of acrobatic nature.
As I worked through my workout today I really payed with the devision of pain and pleasure. I worked at slipping into a state where the things asked of me were not painful or pleasant, they just were, like breath. In this way I think we could all use repetition in our daily life, and in that practice try to find something different than what you think you should find. Find nothing. Practice the art of action without possession. In this way maybe we can feel appreciation. Make the practice easy, with your mind, as water rains in.
As I worked through my workout today I really payed with the devision of pain and pleasure. I worked at slipping into a state where the things asked of me were not painful or pleasant, they just were, like breath. In this way I think we could all use repetition in our daily life, and in that practice try to find something different than what you think you should find. Find nothing. Practice the art of action without possession. In this way maybe we can feel appreciation. Make the practice easy, with your mind, as water rains in.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
DREAMY DREAMS
Today I was moaning for the summer heat. All of this cold weather has me stiff and sniffly. I suppose I had it coming though, I do live in New York city. The truth is I really can't complain. Today especially was fantastic. I started in on a new venture with an amazing acrobat of today and yesteryear. It feels nice to be under a wing these days, I feel like my wings are the ones generally spread wide.
I don't mind being shelter, in fact I relish in it, but it is nice to have guidance from someone down the path. He's a beautiful man. He's very cheerful, but exact in his dreams. He's specific and he know a thing or two or three or four... Today he was tempering my body with consecutive handsprings. We train in a church of all places, but it's ceilings are a great change from the typical New York studio. The light especially makes it a relief. Makes me day dream about the cathedrals of Europe.
My children of the Brooklyn Dance House are really coming along. They give me such life. For me to teach them I travel four hours a day, but it's so fun I don't mind a bit. They all hold so much life and warmth. They don't realize that I'm the one actually learning from them! All the humor and smiling makes me realize I appear old to them. What a thought! I am 6'2", so my size in comparison to them is amusing on it's own.
Good night world.
Dream of distant beaches and beluga whales spouting sounds of wind.
Sounds of possibility for future days.
Days in future places, found from depths below in dreamy dreams.
I don't mind being shelter, in fact I relish in it, but it is nice to have guidance from someone down the path. He's a beautiful man. He's very cheerful, but exact in his dreams. He's specific and he know a thing or two or three or four... Today he was tempering my body with consecutive handsprings. We train in a church of all places, but it's ceilings are a great change from the typical New York studio. The light especially makes it a relief. Makes me day dream about the cathedrals of Europe.
My children of the Brooklyn Dance House are really coming along. They give me such life. For me to teach them I travel four hours a day, but it's so fun I don't mind a bit. They all hold so much life and warmth. They don't realize that I'm the one actually learning from them! All the humor and smiling makes me realize I appear old to them. What a thought! I am 6'2", so my size in comparison to them is amusing on it's own.
Good night world.
Dream of distant beaches and beluga whales spouting sounds of wind.
Sounds of possibility for future days.
Days in future places, found from depths below in dreamy dreams.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Wu Wei
Today in class I really focused on not being in class, but instead just plain being. Instead of trying so hard I really focused my energy on letting go. I focused on not forcing anything, which is what I'd like to think I focus on each day, but today I achieved that more. It happens when we find more awareness in the moment, which is incredibly tricky considering that the moment you even think about being in the moment, you are not, in the moment! In the moments you are having difficulty you have to focus and relax, rather than to try harder, which tenses you. In fact I'm even finding it a bit hard to describe, since even describing the feeling is not the feeling, and so the things I'm saying are near to, but not the state I felt! I can tell you it has happened to you too. Because at some point in your life, you as everyone else has undergone something difficult. It could be a trivial difficulty but it still pulled you into the moment. Luckily we have these difficult moments to pull us away from our attempts at being. This is obvious to us, but how many times have I found myself not doing that? too many times to count.
One can work with the or against the nature of a situation, like wood or stone, or yes the human body. Today my strides were completely with the grain, and I think I'll plan on doing that again tomorrow.
Oops there I go again thinking!
WuWei (Defined) 1. To always act in accordance of things as they exist.
OR 2. Not to force anything.
One can work with the or against the nature of a situation, like wood or stone, or yes the human body. Today my strides were completely with the grain, and I think I'll plan on doing that again tomorrow.
Oops there I go again thinking!
WuWei (Defined) 1. To always act in accordance of things as they exist.
OR 2. Not to force anything.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Want
9:15am
Today was a new beginning. The sky was grey and I saw god in the puddles of Green-point. I made my way to the lonely train and found a mob of people. Everyone waiting, and yet in this very real moment of being, people seemed distorted, frightened, quiet, wanting. It occurs to me that perhaps what they are wanting is not a desire of their's at all!
In fact people are despondent with the reality that perhaps they don't know what they want. I think to myself, "what am I doing here? Do I really want to be here?" "No." There is innately a discomfort that comes with not knowing. I feel it, then again it's not a discomfort that stems from me at all, but from the Lonely train and what it stands for. The culture that tells me "You want". So then, I realize "I don't want," because I have all that I need. even if the apartment and the stuff and the phone, go! Awe and there is the root of the problem.
It comes from the realization that we don't want anything and that's perfectly healthy! We have all that we really want. How can I say this? Well because basically I want what you want, and I don't know what you want! In other words who am I? I know that I am called a great many things, but at the core I don't really know.
9:48am
This is a manhattan bound L train, the next stop will be First Ave. Please stand clear of the closing doors.
Today was a new beginning. The sky was grey and I saw god in the puddles of Green-point. I made my way to the lonely train and found a mob of people. Everyone waiting, and yet in this very real moment of being, people seemed distorted, frightened, quiet, wanting. It occurs to me that perhaps what they are wanting is not a desire of their's at all!
In fact people are despondent with the reality that perhaps they don't know what they want. I think to myself, "what am I doing here? Do I really want to be here?" "No." There is innately a discomfort that comes with not knowing. I feel it, then again it's not a discomfort that stems from me at all, but from the Lonely train and what it stands for. The culture that tells me "You want". So then, I realize "I don't want," because I have all that I need. even if the apartment and the stuff and the phone, go! Awe and there is the root of the problem.
It comes from the realization that we don't want anything and that's perfectly healthy! We have all that we really want. How can I say this? Well because basically I want what you want, and I don't know what you want! In other words who am I? I know that I am called a great many things, but at the core I don't really know.
9:48am
This is a manhattan bound L train, the next stop will be First Ave. Please stand clear of the closing doors.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Lugano
I have been waiting for many years to see where my mother lived as a teenager. Yesterday and today I was able to follow through on this when I visited her home in Lugano Switzerland. I am left speechless, for what I didn't expect was find another piece of myself in a land I'd never seen. As I walked around the mountainous landscape it felt as though I had done so before. I saw where she slept, studied, made friends and found love for the first time. She spent the better part of her adolescent years speaking italian and living away from home. So much of my history was there. I could see how she loved Telluride so much. the two places were very similar. During my look around her school I had a once in a lifetime encounter... A miracle really! I met one of her teachers. He taught her photography. For the next few hours we traded stories about life and art. He just kept telling me how beautiful my mother was, how elegant she was. I couldn't help but cry a little bit. As I looked around I saw my mother everywhere. Something about the way people walked, how they were forced to move according to the way the mountains wanted them to move. It was as if I could see the knife that carved my mother into the women she would become. The grind stone that would sharpen her into the explorer she fashioned herself into. I could see her face in those I passed and the warmth of her hands when I connected to the people around me. My mother was very human, she was flawed, and yes she was also elegant.
MVMNT 28
Well it's been a long time since I last blogged, and for good reason I think! I found a lot amazing reflexion in not posting anything or expressing myself for the past few months. I've done the same when it comes to my dancing, and film making too. Last year rebuild myself, so naturally I had to let my old self go. well I'm back bitches:*) Let the adventures of MAGIC & MVMNT 28 begin!!!
Friday, March 16, 2012
PROTEST AGAINST THE RISING TIDE OF CONFORMITY
I look down and see that I am the same as another person. I see the same swoosh, the same coffee cup, the same telephone, the same ear phones, the same jeans and the same hair cut. I notice that you and I are the same... Exactly the same.
But then I look away and I feel a person that is not the same. I look away and I feel a person that is different. I see a person that comes from a place of love, in spite of fear. I see a unique individual that loves difference, someone that isn't afraid of it. Someone who can acknowledge it and cherish it. Someone who is honest.
Then I think, why?
Am I the only one?
Am I crazy?
And then I realize, no. It's just a hard thing to see. We are evolving. We are becoming more, better, stronger, faster, more connected... Less unique, and less individual.
Protest against the rising tide of conformity.
But then I look away and I feel a person that is not the same. I look away and I feel a person that is different. I see a person that comes from a place of love, in spite of fear. I see a unique individual that loves difference, someone that isn't afraid of it. Someone who can acknowledge it and cherish it. Someone who is honest.
Then I think, why?
Am I the only one?
Am I crazy?
And then I realize, no. It's just a hard thing to see. We are evolving. We are becoming more, better, stronger, faster, more connected... Less unique, and less individual.
Protest against the rising tide of conformity.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Lugano
I have been waiting for many years to see where my mother lived as a teenager. Yesterday and today I was able to follow through on this when I visited her home in Lugano Switzerland. I am left speechless, for what I didn't expect was to find another piece of myself in a land I'd never seen. As I walked around the mountainous landscape it felt as though I had done so before. I saw where she slept, studied, made friends and found love for the first time. She spent the better part of her adolescent years speaking italian and living away from home at TASIS(the american school in Switzerland). So much of my history was there. From here I could see how she loved Telluride so much. The two places are very similar. During my look around her school I had a once in a lifetime encounter... A miracle really! I met one of her teachers. He taught her photography. For the next few hours we traded stories about life and art. He just kept telling me how beautiful my mother was, how elegant she was. I couldn't help but cry a little bit. As I looked around I saw my mother everywhere. Something about the way people walked, how they were forced to move according to the way the mountains wanted them to move. It was as if I could see the knife that carved my mother into the woman she would become. The grind stone that would sharpen her into the explorer she fashioned herself. I could see her face in those I passed and the warmth of her hands in those I met. My mother was very human, she was flawed, and she was beautiful. She was Lugano, and she was Telluride. She was an explorer and a mountaineer. What's left of Fran Distefano Arsentiev will live on in me. I am now back in Zurich. Tomorrow I will return to the stage with my colleagues to begin the rest of our performances in Switzerland. This experience will provide me with a strength I thought died long ago, while my family, and Telluride will keep me humble in my craft as I take new steps as a man.
With love always
Paul Distefano
With love always
Paul Distefano
Thursday, January 19, 2012
A long time coming
Well we're in Vienna now! It's been a whirl wind tour through Germany so far, filled with every emotion you can imagine. Life on the road in Europe is a dream. I love moving so swiftly through the old worlds that are now new. I was walking through Vienna the other day and I realized that at some point in my walk I probably stood on the same ground as Mozart or Johann Sebastian Bach. This place is filled with so many secrets, but they are coved with a layer of new that strips away human emotion. Still the old place is around, just harder to see. If you look close though it pours from the cracks in the stone buildings and streets. Lately I've been fighting a little cold. It makes me feel sluggish, and my body doesn't hold any sexiness. That will pass though. My movement is by default very big and bold. I would like to make it more direct and snappy (that's a strange thought). The work is going well. I am looking forward to doing more shows.... Ooh, got to go, life is calling
Ciao
Ciao
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Lessons
Yesterday was hard. I've been learning that even if your intentions are in the right place people will still take you the way they want to take you. You can say everything in the right way and it can be completely wrong. It's disheartening to know that you can try so hard to communicate and fail miserably.
That's how a felt all yesterday. Now I can look back and see that there is no such thing as a correct way to say something. That when we give advice it is only because we care, but that if someone doesn't take it the way you intended to give it, then the fault is on both parties.
After yesterday I have learned two things. One, only voice your opinion when asked. Otherwise it won't be valued or warranted, even if you preemptively ask for permission to critique. And two, if your having a hard time fitting into a new circle of friends or colleagues, then perhaps you shouldn't try so hard to squeeze in, and allow them to come into your circle when they are ready.
Right now I feel saddened that I can't connect with my new community in a stronger way. I also know that this is a phase, and that I need to be forbearing while my new community figures out what I'm all about. Lastly, I care, and I will continue to care. The circumstances of my life were only in my wildest dreams until a few months ago, and I'm not going to give up. I will survive, and I will thrive.
I'm here!
That's how a felt all yesterday. Now I can look back and see that there is no such thing as a correct way to say something. That when we give advice it is only because we care, but that if someone doesn't take it the way you intended to give it, then the fault is on both parties.
After yesterday I have learned two things. One, only voice your opinion when asked. Otherwise it won't be valued or warranted, even if you preemptively ask for permission to critique. And two, if your having a hard time fitting into a new circle of friends or colleagues, then perhaps you shouldn't try so hard to squeeze in, and allow them to come into your circle when they are ready.
Right now I feel saddened that I can't connect with my new community in a stronger way. I also know that this is a phase, and that I need to be forbearing while my new community figures out what I'm all about. Lastly, I care, and I will continue to care. The circumstances of my life were only in my wildest dreams until a few months ago, and I'm not going to give up. I will survive, and I will thrive.
I'm here!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Isolation, Written July 2011
I spent, well spend so much time isolating myself. I realized today that I have always needed to be overly competitive because I needed to find out who I was as an individual. The problem is that it evolved into me isolating myself from the rest of my life. I love my work, and it has become my life, it has quite possibly consumed me. in the next few months I am going to no longer isolate, and instead I am going to incorporate. Instead of finding out who I am I now more interested in where I come from and how I am connected to it. My family, my friends, my home. My work might not be about who I am, but instead where I come from. It might be about how I'm connected to the world, and who connects to me?
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